What a difference a year makes? This time last year I had just started writing my third book. My dining room table was my new home of creativity, cold cups of tea surrounded me and I had found my happy place. I whiled away the hours writing stories and researching fascinating people and places.
I miss it.
Because now I am looking for a job (yes, a paid job).
These past few months have been a rather sobering experience (hence why I haven’t been writing to you all). I honestly didn’t think it would be as hard as it has been. After twelve months of writing and publishing my last book, I have come to the stark (and rather alarming) realisation that I cannot do this full time. I have no income…
I (naively) thought that I could survive on being a full time writer. Even though I had read a thousand times that only a very small percentage of people can make a living out of writing. I thought that I would be different. I wanted to be part of that small percentage, badly.
I had dreamed of my life as a writer, and here I was living it (albeit, momentarily).
The reality has been rather different than my endless daydreams. The writing part has been relatively easy. The promoting, marketing and selling part has been more than a myriad of emotions, it’s been downright heartbreaking.
That’s not to say that I regret it, not for one minute. I have loved it, more than I could ever have imagined. But the cold hard reality now is that I have none of the folding stuff.
So, it’s back to the rat race. Back to finding employment. And what an experience that has been. I am not thirty anymore, I’m over fifty and I hadn’t been for a job interview for fourteen years. What a shock.
I have to date applied for twenty-five jobs, I have heard back from three of them. One I had three interviews for and didn’t get the job, the second, I was interviewed by the fun police (suffice to say, they didn’t seem to like my humour) and the third, well I don’t know yet, I am still waiting.
But, I am not giving up, I am still writing and I will continue to write because I love it. I just wasn’t prepared for all the twists and turns, so bring it on. I’m ready for the next chapter.
So, do I still believe in chasing your dreams? Absolutely. We cannot always control what goes on in our world but we can start with ourselves, and I intend to.
No matter what life throws at us; we are all capable of so much (even though we don’t think we are). There is a certain comfort in knowing that all will be well, even in times of change, disappointment, fear and sadness. I intend to embrace that. To travel these paths is the path of life, and the one we are destined to walk.
Don’t worry, I will still be writing and entertaining you on my blog 🙂 and I even have a few ideas on my next book, so stay tuned.
Big Love Jane x
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