So, how do we change our life? We can talk about it (a lot) sing about it (thanks Little Mix) or even make fervent plans to get ourselves on track, but it takes more than that. It takes patience, belief, confidence, stamina and a little bit of luck. I didn’t find it easy (I still don’t some days) but little by little I came out of the fog that had enveloped me during cancer treatment and I could “see the wood for the trees”.
It wasn’t instant that is for sure, I had dark days in-between the shiny days but I could sense a real feeling of peace come over me, I had weathered the storm and I was coming out the other side. So how did I do it?
I had to come to terms with what had happened to me, regardless of what you think about the universe, god, angels, spirits, nothing makes sense and nothing is fair. We are imperfect and that’s OK, we have to make the best of it and that takes strength, a lot of it.
I largely did it on my own, I read a lot, talked a lot to people (who had either been through cancer themselves or a traumatic experience) and I wrote a lot. Writing was cathartic and depending on what you believe, I think I was destined to be a writer; I needed a wake up call and what a big one I had. Once I had realised that this was the universe talking to me (loudly) a sense of calm came over me when I realised that this was in fact my life purpose.
“How lucky am I?” I thought, I have a very clear path, I know exactly what I have to do. I know I was supposed to write about my cancer journey. I have often thought about why I didn’t start writing earlier, I wasn’t meant to. I had to wait, wait for something to write about, and cancer was that. It got me started.
Big Love Jane x