Nobody really likes change, change is scary and unpredictable. We like our comfort zones; it makes us feel secure and self-assured.
We don’t like rocking the boat; most people would think it would be grand if we could float through life without a lot of change. But change is meant to happen to us; sometimes it’s little changes, sometimes big, ugly ones. We react differently to each type.
Changing my brand of tea or the colour of my socks is a day-to-day example of little changes that we make in our lives, but when we are faced with massive change, our safe and comfortable existence is questioned. In the face of a considerable change we feel disorientated and confused.
Change that is unwanted is the hardest of all. We have no choice but to face it head on. And that takes courage because surrendering to it is painful.
I had to work hard to take myself back to the start and write a new recipe for change. And I don’t mean working 24/7; I mean working hard at believing in myself. Changing my mindset (and my mind state) took some dedication on my part.
You don’t just wake up one morning with a completely new outlook on life. It takes time to reset the beliefs systems that we’ve had in place for all those years.
It took time for me. And I am still working on it. When I catch myself having negative thoughts or beating myself up, I make sure that I reorganise my thoughts and put a more positive spin on it.
It happens all the time actually (I am definitely not immune to feeling shizzle some days) But I am aware of it and that in itself is a step forward. I worry about things too, about my heath, my finances, all normal things to worry about but I know now that all it takes is changing the way I think and feel about it.
It sounds easy and sometimes it is, and sometimes it’s not. But that’s my challenge too. Things don’t always go my way, sometimes my plans don’t work out. But I always stay in the right lane.
It takes courage to face up to our disappointments and allow ourselves the space to heal. I have struggled with that too. I forget the enormity of what I’ve been through and sometimes dismiss that it can take years to fully recover from trauma. I am reminded of this when I visit my GP, who reminds me that I am not wonder woman after all (bummer!)
[excerpt from ‘Life Uncomplicated’]
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Big Love Jane x